| Facebook (is, like, 26 years old in 2029) |
[May. 24th, 2028|03:52 pm] |
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| Blog 1: Freebies |
[Aug. 27th, 2010|11:57 am] |
Hello, babies. Coming at you from the blogosphere to offer up a brand new cut from yours truly. Click here to download a little freebie from our upcoming album (title yet undecided, visit our website to vote). If you're old, like folk music, and/or throwbacks to the quietest music scene of the early 2000s, you may remember Dar Williams. In which case, consider this my kicking the lady up a notch. If you are none of the above, consider this a musical high-five to those mystery NYC bombers.
Remember: we'll be performing this, as well as a handful of new stuff next week at Clambor in D0. Be there, or be a French maid caught in the pantry without her feather duster. You know what I'm talking about.
ooc: the "download" is a heavier, rock cover of the Dar Williams original; add in some more percussion, electric guitars, angrier vocals, etc. |
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| Vlog 7: Happy Birthday Dear Moi |
[Jul. 29th, 2010|06:18 pm] |
[The shot is a close-up of Mina's face. Despite the heavy makeup, her eyes still look tired. She does not smile, but blinks heavily as she speaks in a slow, languid tone.]
Birthdays have a way of really wearing a girl down, don't they? It's been two days,--I think?--and I already forget how old I am. Oh, wait. [She laughs dramatically.] How could I ever forget? Somebody turned the big Three-Oh this week! Time to celebrate, bitches. What say you to having a proper party this weekend? I want music. I want revelry. I want debauchery. And I always get what I want. [She smirks.] I think this means we start at Stranglove and see where the night may lead us. Roxie, baby, do put out a table for a cake the size of President Edwards' ass. [She leans into the camera.] Maybe that can be the theme, huh? [winks] See you all there. Kisses!
[With a straight face, Mina leans back and shuts off the camera.] |
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| Vlog 6: It's Seven O'clock in the Morning |
[Jul. 19th, 2010|09:08 am] |
[Video opens with Mina seated, as per usual, in the over-stuffed chair of a centerpiece in the tiny apartment's living room. She is wearing a high collar, sleeveless white blouse, black mini skirt (though her legs are not readily visible, except for when she periodically crosses and uncrosses them), and her hair, still blonde, is pulled back into a severe, school teacher bun. There is a hint of glitter sprinkled atop her scalp, eyelids, and shoulders. Somewhere in the background, a keyboard starts to plunk out a series of notes. Mina sings a few bars from "Painting Her Portrait," as dramatically and over-the-top as she can. When she is finished:]
It didn't work in 1995, and it isn't going to work in 2029. Get over yourself, Broadway.
[She smiles. The piano starts again with the first notes of "Sweet Liberty," as the screen fades to black.] |
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| Vlog 5: There's No Business Like That Which We Call Show |
[Jun. 28th, 2010|08:16 pm] |
[Video opens on the image of the setting sun, then, as the camera pans down over trees to a park bench, we are presented with a relaxed Mina in a sundress and shades. One particular thing of note, she is without her traditional blonde coif, and in it's place is a red wig full of the tiniest curls piled high up on top of her head. Legs crossed, knees catching the last rays of the sun, she leans back into the bench with one arm, and nods. No smile.]
Oh, Bernadette, Bernadette, Bernadette. Sweet Bernadette. Honey, I have to wonder, now, whether they just put this entire World War Z musical together just so you could make some miraculous return to Broadway in your advanced aged. The Tonys were fixed, because only a Tony Award winning Broadway spectacle is worthy to have you, of course, and the choreography--what is the one number called? "The Undead Shuffle Off to Buffalo"?--done by none other than Jerry Mitchell of Gypsy fame...well. I'm sensing a pattern, sweetie. [Mina sighs dramatically.] I'm sure Sonheim is involved somehow as well, I just have to figure out how. That West Side revamp probably has something to do with it. [Dramatic gasp.] A Broadway conspiracy! How sinister. How delightful.
[With a second nod, the camera cuts out.] |
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| Vlog 4: Happy Birthday, Madame President |
[Jun. 1st, 2010|10:33 pm] |
[Video opens to a smiling Mina, seated in her living room chair. She is decked out in complete Marilyn Monroe garb: pink evening gown, pink satin gloves, shining pink lips, short, curly, blonde coif. She does not speak, but goes directly into song:]
Happy birthday...to you... Happy birthday...to you... Happy birthday...Norma Jeane... Happy birthday...to you.
[She smiles, goes on:]
Thanks, Madame President...for all the things you've done...the battles that you've won... [Mina snickers] the way you deal with U.S. steel... and our problems by the ton.
[Nearly laughing over the last bit, Mina winks, and adds:]
Happy birthday, Marilyn, darling. |
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| Vlog 3: The New Biebs is to Hurt For |
[May. 24th, 2010|04:54 pm] |
[The shot fades up on a smiling Mina, seated in the usual chair next to an unattended guitar. She is wearing her long blonde tresses in an up-do, something of a French twist, and her makeup is especially classy this evening, all straight brows, ruby lips, light gray shadow. She is wearing a strapless red dress, and sipping red wine from a delicate crystal glass.]
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening. [raises her glass toward the camera] I was going to write this in weblog format, using my newly downloaded oh-so-classy Bobby Rattinson font, but I did not want to offend your delicate sensibilities by hiding my face behind the curlycue penmanship of BoRattz. As you can see, the old girl has healed up quite nicely. [She points to her cheek, which is still bruised, but the mark is barely perceptible beneath the makeup.] Thanks to Grandma's remedies, we are now down to a lovely shade of faded purple. Nothing a little Maybelline can't amend--maybe she's born with it?
[Mina takes a small sip, smiles.] Ladies and gentlemen, I come before you tonight with a dilemma. A terrible dilemma, ladies and gentlemen, which I do not believe I can solve all on my own. It has come to my attention that the Billboard Top 10 is suffering greatly, and has been suffering for the last nineteen years, at least. You know, there was a time when I thought no one could ever fill the gaping, black hole of torment and sorrow left in my tender, loving heart when Justin Bieber finally hit puberty (oh, how we two were so in-synch in those days! ah, the world! oh, the world!). I wept for weeks on end the night I first heard his sweet, childlike voice crack. But, now! Now the world grants me reprieve. Finally, a worthy contender for the spot left vacant in my soul since the tender age of eleven.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the rumors are true, I do, indeed, hurt for Kurt.
[She takes a long, measured sip, as the images slowly fades to black.] |
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| Vlog 2: Excuse You NY, This Is My Serious Face |
[May. 16th, 2010|04:02 pm] |
[The set-up of this post is far less structured than is typical of Mina's vlog entries. Where usually someone else will hold the camera (the better to see you with, Mina, my dear), Mina now clearly holds the camera herself, reaching her arm as far back from her face as possible. She is lying down, blonde hair a mess on the carpet around her head, and her makeup is smeared, running, and left only in all the wrong places. A purple bruise is forming under her left cheek bone.]
Word to the wise, sweet darling, even if you are residing in your designated district, and even if you manage to stay in all night like a good little boy and girl, and even if your NIC is perfectly legit, [she lifts her ID card into view with her free hand, and one will note that in the photo Mina is entirely without makeup and wearing short, brown hair; the name reads Roger Greiner] if you do not look exactly the same as you did when you had your photo taken at Fort Somethingpretentious in Smalltown, Midwest, because maybe you hadn't exactly had the chance to apply the face after your long trip east, or if you suggest you are called by any name other than the name printed next to your photo, because maybe you are used to going by something other than your given name, or if you give the impression of being a little different from what the details on the card claim--you might be in a bit of a pickle.
[She purses her lips, stares for a moment, directly into the screen, and then clicks off the camera.] |
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| Vlog 1: I love the 90s |
[May. 12th, 2010|12:38 pm] |
[Video fades up onto the image of Mina seated in a lumpy armchair, an opaque glass of something in her hand. Disjointed voices fill the background with conversation, laughter, and activity. When Mina speaks, it is in a soft voice, nearly a whisper, and almost conspiratorially. She leans forward, except when she sips from her cocktail.]
Hello, New York. How are you? Me? Why, I am doing just wonderfully, [sips her drink] thank you for asking. I want to sing for you a little song. You remember the old days, right? Well, [she smirks] some of you might. I'm a little too young myself... But no matter! I know the classics.
[She clears her throat, hums a few notes.] "You are...my fire...the one...desire...believe...when I say...I want it that way. But we...are two worlds apart...can't reach to your heart...when you say...that I want it that way. Tell me why! Ain't nothin' but--" [She is interrupted by the crash of a cymbal and raucous laughter. Mina dissolves into laughter of her own, and shouts off screen.]
Quiet off stage! [She can hardly stop laughing.] We are in a RECORDING SESSION! Morons... [She laughs, sips her drink, tries to swallow through her hysterics, collects herself, and looks back at the camera.] Well, that's one song from the period. I'm sure it's beloved. I remember there was another...what was it? A bunch of boys dressed as puppets, saying, "Bye, bye, bye," or something equally tragic. [Another sip. Classy. But you know what? The period wasn't entirely without true class, and I'll tell you why...
[Again, she clears her throat, hums dramatically, then jumps into the song.] "If you wanna be be my lover! You gotta get with my friends! Make it last forever! Friendship never e-e-ends! If you wanna be my lover! You have got to give! Taking is too easy, but that's the way it i-i-is!" [She goes on to sing most of the song, the rest of the crowd joining in from off screen.] "Slam your body down and wind it all around. Slam your body down zigazig ah! If you wanna be my lover!" [They finish with a keyboard joining in, and then Mina takes a long drink.]
Yes, New York. Next time you're presented with a throw-back to the nineties, remember that, and think about what you're doing. What would London think of us? [Mina motions to someone off screen, somewhere directly behind the camera, and the video fades back to black.] |
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